Building on last week’s theme of gratitude ~ this week for the #Last90Days challenge is to stop comparing yourself to others. Isn’t this an interesting concept? In an age where social media is everywhere, people are often left comparing themselves to what they see or hear. Job title, income, grades, house, and the number of Facebook likes ~ the amount of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. And, so is the number of people we can compare ourselves to. Logically we can tell ourselves to stop comparing, yet that is often easier said then done.
At Healing Path Counselling Services – we usually try to identify that comparison is often the fast track to unhappiness. All it does is keep one focused on what they don’t like about themselves or about their lives. Here are some steps to take:
Accept where you are
You cannot change something that you don’t acknowledge. Likewise, if you are always worrying about others and where they are you are not nurturing yourself. Water your own grass rather than your neighbours.
Love your past
Your life might have been messy and bumpy. It might have been colored by mistakes, anxiety, or fear. But all those things were catalysts to help you become a better, wiser, and more courageous version of yourself. So, embrace your story and how much you’ve grown from it. Be proud of what you’ve done and for wanting to create a better life for yourself.
Realize that you (or anyone else for that matter) are not perfect.
Free yourself from recognizing that you are imperfectly perfect. I often like to use the term “flawsome”. Within this concept, you need to stop “shoulding” ~ “I should have done this;” “I should do this better;”. Hindsight 20-20 does no one any favours because we can’t erase the past. What we can do, however, is learn from it. Instead of using “should” when expressing commitments, use “want” and notice how your inner dialogue shifts.
Know this isn’t the end of your story
If you’re not happy where you are today, remember that this is just a snapshot of your life. Where you are today doesn’t say anything about where you’ll be in one or three years from now. Stop comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle. What matters isn’t where you are. What matters is your mindset, attitude, and where you’re going.
Tell yourself a better story
If the story you’re telling yourself isn’t one of empowerment, strength, and optimism, then tell a better story. Instead of telling yourself you’re not competent enough to do the work you want to do, tell yourself you’re brave enough to try something new. Instead of blaming yourself for mistakes in the past, remind yourself that you did the best you could and that you’ve learned from it.
All of the above requires a mindful practice and a shift in mindset. Our innermost thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, those around us, and the world are often not based in reality and can become our worst enemy. If this sounds like something you may be struggling with and you would like to create a different story ~ please contact me at Healing Path Counselling Services.
#stopcomparing #healingpath #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #cbt #lifecoach #personaldevelopmentcoach #mindfulness #selfreflection #wellnessjourney #healthinmindbodyspirit